It's a damn cold night...

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
いつか失ってしまうのかな。薄れてゆく笑顔と君を守りたい。
-- D-technolife

If fate is a wheel, then we are the sand that is crushed between the cogs.

Don't judge a life by one difficult season.

独自并不代表孤单,在一群人中狂笑着有时更寂寞。
-- 吴庆康

At times it may not even seem rational, but the heart has a computing ability that is far more accurate and far more precise than anything within the limits of rational thought.
-- Deepak Chopra
于是我让孤独更孤独,有一种不是悲伤的悲伤,才是刻骨铭心的悲伤。
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
-- St Francis.
People's actions are influenced by their expectations. People respond not just to what is happening now, but to what they anticipate will happen in the future.
-- Sloman
不管你会不会忘了我,我只想告诉你一个秘密。
--《不能说的·秘密》

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind.
-- Deepak Chopra

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death but when I stand in front of you yet you don't know that I love you.
-- Tagore
Do do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.
-- Matt 6:34

まだ不器用に笑うね まだ悲しみが似合うから
キミに降る痛みを 拭ってあげたい すべて I for you
-- I For You

the optimistic pessimist

supposedly an adult, she thinks like an adult (too much, if you ask me). deep inside, she is nothing but a little girl, with her little lofty dreams and ideals. and oops, she is breaking them, one by one.
more often than not, she is just an angsty emo kid.

she is only but
a passer-by,

an onlooker,
a walking shadow.

and this girl can't stop writing.

she stalks

|| cyn bea bao zou mel ||
|| joan weepz ||
|| blockc yeanching lehia kexi zhenlin horace alvin dina sandra becca tzehee ||
|| cruzteng peifen dasmondkoh ||
|| xiaozhu xiaogui sunxiezhi ashin kangyong ||
|| derrick jinglun stefsun natho lawrencewong ||
|| feliciachin joannepeh jeanetteaw sharonaw ||
|| xiaohan hyr chimkang mingde dannyyeo ||
|| xuyunling alvinology mrbrown esther ||
|| drbondar psychdigest ||
|| kfdrawing iwrotethisforyou thingsweforget ||

After all, what is in the past but what we choose to remember? They can choose not to hide it, to take what's broken, to feel the pain and know that it will heal. They know where happiness lies, not in a cave or a country, but in love and the freedom to give and take what has been there all along.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

she watches on

Others desire to experience the blessedness of giving, but we often frustrate them by refusing their help.


“你有心事吗?”
“或许有一天,我会告诉你吧。”
--《不能说的·秘密》

she holds on

 Memories were also a way of looking in a mirror, but it was a jagged mirror of broken glass, one that cast imperfect reflections. Like shards, these memories drew blood.

February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012 February 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 July 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 April 2017 May 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 April 2018 June 2018 July 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 February 2019 April 2019 June 2019 August 2019 October 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 July 2020 November 2020 February 2021 April 2021 July 2021 September 2021 November 2021 March 2022

she never gets

永远不会交的功课 || 永远不会实现的愿望

|| you ||

Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself... Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.
-- Deepak Chopra

she thanks

Designer : Wei Jun
Brushes : Deviantart - Spy Glass

I don't know, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm a pair of eyes and ears, and I'm just trying to stay safe and make sense of what's happening. I know what to avoid, what to worry about.I'm like those kids who live with gunfire going off around them. I don't want pain. I don't want to die. I don't want to see other people around me die. But I don't have anything left inside me to figure out where I fit in or what I want. If I want anything, it's to know what's possible to want.
-- The Bonesetter's Daughter

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

Monday, August 01, 2011
withers away @ 11:34 pm

because i'm bored. (nah, i just dun wanna start work. yah i know it's 11+pm and i still dun wanna start work. HA. shoot me.)

Capricorn Woman
December 21 TO January 20

Slogan: I Build, Therefore I am.

GENERAL CHARACTERISTICS:

The Capricorn woman, like the Mountain Goat is forever climbing upwards and toward the fulfillment of her goals and objectives. [somewhere somehow?]

This is the sign of great ambition, however, it is also the sign that experiences the most powerful sense of social responsibility and personal limitation. [ah my gosh i feel it.]

The Capricorn girl’s childhood life may not have been the easiest; as she may have felt that the joys and freedom of that time were somehow restricted and/or possibly withheld from her. [freedom, yes. difficult, well, 比上不足,比下有余。]

It can often take quite a while therefore for the Capricorn woman to come to terms with her feelings and to accept that it is all right for her to express herself or, to find the inner tools that will allow and direct such creative and emotional expression to the right outlets. [still finding.]

Once she has established and has built the path toward her own success however, there will be no stopping the progress of the Capricorn woman. [do not stop me mwahaha.]

Over time she will develop and learn how to build upon her concepts and ideas, how to profit from every venture and, how to gain in a material and/or social sense from each of her many experiences. [learning as i move along.]

Capricorn women are prone to build friendships with older people or those in positions superior to herself. Her objectives being to mix among those who can be of help and assist her in her climb to the top of her particular project, job or ambition. [LOL we'll see.]

While the Capricorn woman may have commenced her life with little endurance and limited courage, she has the ability to continually learn from her practical contacts in life as to what works and what doesn’t.

The result is, that at the end-of-the-day, she will ultimately achieve a victorious result. For the Capricorn woman, it’s the later years of her life that are often the best. [LMAO we'll see again.]

MONEY & FINANCES:

The Capricorn woman holds some very fixed ideas on investment strategy and is certainly not a person to waste or dismiss resources.

She is very conservative financially and will invest more into secure and sound investments where she can watch such investments grow in value steadily. [ah, true.]

In the main Capricorn girls are quite status conscious and will enjoy wearing quality designer clothes, eating in the fine restaurants and staying in the best hotels. She is not brazen, however, and holds preference for the tasteful over the blatantly showy. [nonsense.]

The Capricorn woman is a girl who will work hard to earn and obtain her position and possessions and a girl who will take, and rightly so, pride in her achievements. [:P]

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS:

Capricorn is a very practical sign and to the Capricorn woman marriage and any other forms of committed relationships are usually viewed and considered from several perspectives. Their consideration will not be limited to just the areas of the physical or the emotional attraction. [and i think that's where the problem lies. think too much.]

This girl will certainly look with favor upon a person who, while they may be physically less attractive, they are ambitious and hardworking. Such person will certainly rank in preference to someone who, while they might be good looking, are totally lacking in ambition or, are downright lazy. [absolutely. without a doubt.]

There are some Capricorn girls who can be cool in their heart and head but very passionate in terms of her body and, girls of this nature find no difficulty at all in a relationship that is purely based upon the physical.

The Capricorn women relates well with those of the sign Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, and Pisces. [this is... pretty much. true. have people from each sign.] They can establish good friendships with those of sign Libra and, quite often become involved in very important relationships with those of sign Cancer. [WHERE ART THOU??]

The most difficult sign relationships for the Capricorn woman are those of Aries, Leo, Gemini, and Sagittarius. [half of zoo falls in this category LOL. not to mention others.]

(taken from: http://www.capricornwoman.net/)


January 9 Birthday
YOUR SIGN - Capricorn

YOUR ELEMENT - Earth

YOUR RULERS - Saturn/Venus

Astrological Birthday Features

Those born this day as a January 9 Capricorn will generally have a sense of maturity that goes well beyond their years . [the maturity drives ppl nuts, including myself.]

Many January 9 birth dates they will have experienced circumstances arising in their life where they been expected to assume the responsibilities of an adult at a very early age. [ehhh. orh.]

As a January 9 you should not be surprised if you appear to act in a younger way as you mature over the years. [omg this is so damn true.]

This is because as you grow older, you can have that inclination to try to recapture some of that childhood that you may have missed out on, and failed to benefit from, due to family circumstances arising during your childhood years. [in some sense.]

Those of the January 9 birth date tend to have an inherent deep sense of compassion toward other people and understanding as to their limitations. [greatest strength and greatest weakness.]

With the benefit of patience you will discover that you have both the ability and skill in order to help and assist others to exceed and to move outside of the boundaries of their own limitations. [ditto above.]

As a January 9 birth date you are one who has an open curiosity that tends to inspire you to try out any new concepts or ideas. [no no no. me no like new territory.]

You will be more than likely to be the first one among your group to try out and experience the latest fad, whim, fashion, food, craze or trend.

The fixed star Deneb is located near some of those born on the January 9 birth date and, in more ancient times this star was believed to bestow the ability to both command and, to be a successful warrior. [chiong ah!]

On the career-vocational front the January 9 does have the distinctive talent of being able to make the most out of the least. They therefore have a powerful perceptive on how to structure whatever resources that may be available for the benefit of all. [eh, ah i guess that's how i manage to survive.]

You could also be a person of a solitary type personality who has tremendous skills of concentration. [solitary: perfect word. concentration? actually yes, when i want to.]

In order to balance up the more serious and solitary aspect of your nature you should indulge yourself in a little silliness now and then to accommodate that particular child like aspect of your personality. [if i go anymore sillier i'll be sent to the asylum.]

Dress wise, those of the January 9 birth date are generally well presented but not to the extent of standing out in the crowd. [i rather blend into the wallpaper.]

You can add some vivacity to your dress presentation and image by the inclusion of some visually outstanding piece of jewellery.

As example, this could take the form of an elegant jacket pin or wrist bracelet.

On the home front, you enjoy a sense of importance and grandeur within your surroundings; consider arches between the rooms in your home in order to provide you with a sense of space; add some earth color bricks or tiles in the kitchen. [is that how my future house looks like??]

Look to incorporate somewhere within your home environment the colors of yellow and blue as these will complement your birth date.

Unique and unusual designs tend to appeal to the January 9 birth date and, in particular can have a great appreciation for anything that projects an eastern flavor.

As example, large vases or eastern type rugs or carpets will compliment your living space.

To match your personality you should include within your home decor some textures of plush fabrics such as velvet for example.

This eastern flair can also extend into the kitchen in the form of a love for Indian or Asian foods.

As a January 8 you are likely to favor a more glitzy type of home environment but you can however, also be influenced by a more conservative aspect of your character that will override the more expressive side of your nature.

In this event you need to counteract this restriction by surrounding yourself with plenty of color.

Bright yellow is a good color for you as it will help you to open to even more color within your life.

In your outdoors scenario you will find that unusual rock shape items are as interesting to you as the flowers in your garden.

Consider incorporating some interesting shaped rock design pieces within your flowerbeds and overall garden layout.

Your special magic numbers are 10 and 9.

The ninth day of the first month reduces to ten, and the number ten indicates the desire to push for perfection; a desire that will make you try, try and try again in order to achieve your ultimate goal or goals in life.

The ninth day of the year reduces to nine, and the number nine represents your inborn need to see things through to their final conclusion.

(taken from: http://www.capricornwoman.net/january_9_birthday_features.htm)

It's something Mystical